Encouraging Words

It's amazing what they can do for you. Especially especially when they come from close friends. I believe that is why I feel compelled (in a wonderful way) to encourage others so much. I know how important it is to me. I just have to remember not to seek 'man's praise' and that the encouragement I get directly from Christ is much more important. We can encourage each other, but He is the only one worthy of our praise.

To Whine Or Not To Whine

Sarcasm runs deep in my family. Not one of my more endearing traits & frankly one I despise. But I can't seem to turn it off like switch yet. I'm not wanting to withdraw, but I feel the icy tendrils pulling me back in. My emotions have been like a roller coaster, I thought I was at the brink of a small reprieve, but alas, I find myself freefalling again. I'm so tired of this. If you're still reading this you probably are too.

I long for the weekend, although it brings no respite.
As the Bard says:

"Therein lies the rub." William Shakespeare

Why do I continue?

My Thorn

We all have regrets. Everyone wishes they either hadn't said something or had said something, or hadn't done something or wish they did. But can you really regret something that brought you to the foot of the Cross knowing it was the only thing that could? Regretting it took something so hurtful, so bad, so vile, and/or so 'unlike you'; to bring you to the point of repentence is one thing, but can you regret the act (or inaction) now that you sit in His mercy seat? I think of Paul's thorn in the flesh.



2 Corinthians 12:7-8

7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.



I have a thorn deep into my very soul. I never understood how it came about, only that it will remain with me until my death. It's more than I can bear. I have pleaded thousands upon thousands of times with GOD to remove it.


What do you do with that?

Back "Where I Began"

by Caedmon's Call

The grass looked greener on the other side
so I tried to, snatch myself from Your hand.
Caught a boat to anywhere but Nineveh
and, well you know, I got spit back on dry land.
Give me purity and give me continence.
But oh no, not yet.
Like a coin hiding in the corner
trying not to be swept.
And I was trying not to be swept.
Kicking against these goads
sure did cut up my feet,
and didn't Your hands get bloody
as You washed them clean (You washed them!),

Here I am again, back where I began,
try as I may I can't get away from You.
And all of these roads lead me to roam,
bring me back home.
Here I am again, back where I began.

So You have Yourself Your ninety nine (ninety nine),
isn't that enough for You?
Still You followed me to the shadowed valley.
Carried me on Your shoulders too.
I've done the work of Sisyphus,
thinking that I could get over this hill.
But the one thing I can't get over now...(is the)
is the force of Your will.

Burnt Offerings

I started this blog as a possible creative outlet for me and more importantly (it seemed) I thought it might help others. But all the entries seem like burnt offerings.

Nothing but ashes.

Why would Christ choose me to be one of His children? I was a part of his plan before the foundation of the world.

Why did He choose me when all I do is ignore Him, demand selfish things of Him, turn my back on Him and .....even slap His face!

So many others could be or are or have already been so much better and more appreciative servants. Underachiever. Stiff-necked & hard-hearted. That's me. I am such a miserable wretched worm.....

Only the Son of GOD is capable of loving one such as me.

Am I any worse than anybody else? Probably not, but I'm no better than anyone else either. All I have is my own pathetic heart & soul. Like Rob Thomas; I'm here all the time & I can't get away from me.

Only He is worthy.

So why do I continue to kick against the goads?

It hurts so badly... so deeply.... I'm so tired. Physically, mentally.... & obviously spiritually. So tired....

But by only the Grace of GOD I will not give up, like Jacob I will continue to struggle until He heals my broken soul.

Psalm 51:1-17

1 Have mercy on me, O GOD, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O GOD. Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O GOD who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you.
16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O GOD.

"Worlds Apart"

by Jars of Clay


I am the only one to blame for this

Somehow it all adds up the same

Soaring on the wings of selfish pride

I flew too high and like Icarus I collide

with a world I try so hard to leave behind

To rid myself of all but love

to give and die

to turn away and not become

another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves

more deeply than the oceans,

more abundant than the tears

of a world embracing every heartache



Can I be the one to sacrifice

or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

(to love you)

Take my world apart

(to need you)

I am on my knees

(to love you)

Take my world apart

(to need you)

Broken on my knees



All said and done

I stand alone

amongst remains of a life I should not own

It takes all I am to believe

in the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me

All I am for all you are

because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart



And I pray,

(to love you)

Take my world apart

(to need you)

I am on my knees

(to love you)

take my world apart

(to need you)

Broken on my knees



I look beyond the empty cross

forgetting what my life has cost

and wipe away the crimson stains

and dull the nails that still remains

More and more I need you now

I owe you more each passing hour

The battle between grace and pride

I gave up not so long ago

So steal my heart and take the pain

and wash the feet and cleanse my pride

Take the selfish, take the weak

and all the things I cannot hide

Take the beauty, take my tears

The sin and soaked heart and make it yours

Take my world all apart

Take it now, take it now

And serve the ones that I despise

Speak the words I can't deny

Watch the world I used to love

fall to dust and thrown away

I look beyond the empty cross

forgetting what my life has cost

So wipe away the crimson stains

and dull the nails that still remain

So steal my heart and take the pain

take the selfish, take the weak

and all the things I cannot hide

Take the beauty, take my tears

Take my world apart

take my world apart

I pray, I pray, I pray

Take my world apart



Worlds apart.

How can I?

How can I stand here with You



and not be moved by You?



"Everything" by Lifehouse



http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5



I can't.

So Alone?

I'm sitting at home in front of the computer.

Again.

Alone.

Again.

I know He is with me.

But I feel so alone.

Why?

Paul told the Phillipian church in 4:12 :

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I don't know what it is to be in need, but compared to most on this Earth, I do know what it is to have plenty. I haven't learned the secret of being content in any & especially every situation, no matter if I'm full or think that I'm hungry, no matter if I spend a lifetime in plenty or spend a moment in want.

So why do I yearn for more?

I am so blessed.

Why isn't it enough?

Is it the insatiable human apetite?

Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, the Garden & true sinless fellowship with GOD wasn't enough for Adam & Eve.

Never the less, these feelings & emotions, right or wrong are real.

And He knows that.

If I lie to myself, I'm lying to GOD.

So here I sit.

And who am I speaking to, Christ or you, the reader, whoever you are?

No offense, but if I'm talking to you, what good is that?

You can't help me, I can't help you.

At best all we can do is cry together & know we're not alone..... Ha!
There is some serious irony.

At worst, we can have a pity party & whine about how life isn't fair.

What do we know about fair?

We don't want fair.

Fair is what we deserve. Not forgiveness.

We don't want fair.

Shouldn't we be speaking to our Savior?

Comfort & encouragement through fellowship with each other is good, but how often do we look to one another instead of looking to Him?

He is here.

He is calling out to me through the music playing through my computer.
He is calling out to me through His creation.
He is calling out to me through the people in my life.
He is calling out to me through the experiences & lessons of my life.
He is calling out to me through His Word sitting idly next to me on the table.

I still feel alone.

Maybe it's time to stop writing (or reading this) & pick up His Word and spend some 'real' time with my (our) Lord & Savior.

Thanks for listening to my rambling, now it's time for me to listen to Him.

Listening, But Not Hearing

"My hopes are like leaves upon the water, just sunk in the night"
"You Might Recall" by Genesis (the rock group)

GOD is sovereign. Period.

Your life has been turned upside down.

Your expectations are thrown to the ground with a resounding thud.

"Where are You?!!!
Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

WHY?!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

GOD has a plan for you.

You want to know what it is, or at least a general idea of it or a direction.

Throw me a bone!!

Silence.

Nothing.

Not even a hint. No peace. No comfort.

GOD is silent.

He doesn't seem to be around, little-alone interested in your torment.

Don't You love me?!
Don't You care?!!!
Why can't you look my way?
I'm hurting.
I'm mad.
I don't understand.
I've followed you & look what it's got me.
I'm miserable....

I don't know what to do.

Don't leave me alone.....

Please.

Please!

Through the silence,
His answer.

No.

He does have a plan for you.
But He is not going to tell you.

His silence says:

"Trust me."

"I am GOD. Not "a god".

"The GOD".

The one & only bold all-caps GOD"

He is sovereign. Period.

No if's, but's or errors.

But as His children, we know He has what is best for us in mind. But "best" isn't always 'easy', it rarely is, in fact it' doesn't even seem 'good' from our finite standpoint either. 'Our way' may be more comfortable, but what good is that? What is comfortable? How does it help others? Can it make us grow closer to Him?
In His silence He is aware of you, He is watching you. Through it, He does care about you. In fact through His silence He is calling you out. You have His undivided attention. He is looking at directly you. With His piercing gaze He is staring you directly into your eyes deep into your soul and saying:

"Trust me."

"I am who I am .”


Job 38:1-4

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:
“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words?
Brace yourself like a man,
because I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.
“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.

Psalm 94:11

The LORD knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile.

Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

My Piece of Glass

(My personal interpretation of “A Piece of Glass”)
Original words by Danielle Glenn & Derek Webb of Caedmon’s Call

I can’t believe that I failed again
Wake me up from this nightmare
Cause this monster’s wasting me away,
taking my days

Everyday I live a bit less
One day leads to another
Even if I struggle in my rage
It overcomes me
It overwhelms me

Who are you that lies when you stare in my face
Telling me that I’m just a trace of
the man I once was
Cause I just can’t tell if
you’re telling the truth or a lie
On you I just can’t rely
After all you’re just a piece of glass

Still this nightmare’s all mine
When I call on Him, He’s silent
I can tell myself when to lie, when to hide
Sometimes I stand for a while
So I think I can do this myself
But the bitter numbness goes on
And once again I … fall

Who are you that lies when you stare at my face
Telling me that I’m just a trace of
the man I once was
Cause I just can’t tell if
you’re telling the truth or a lie
On you I just can’t rely
After all you’re just a piece of glass

When did I become so jaded
Please break my hardened heart
Cause I don’t know what to do
I want to get past this, (be open and real)
Have mercy on me and
Forgive me one more …time

Who am I that lies when you stare at my face
Telling you that you’re not the man you once were
Cause we’re not the same
You’re just a picture of me
You’re gone as soon as I leave
You’ve lived my life for me
But I’m no more than a piece of glass
We’re no more than just a piece of glass

James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

Psalm 32:1-8

Oh what joy for those rebellion is forgiven,

whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin,

whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin,

I was weak and miserable, and groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.



Interlude.

Finally,

I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them.

I said to myself,

“I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

And you forgave me!

All my guilt is gone.



Interlude.

Therefore,

let all the godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time,

that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgement.

For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble.

You surround me with songs of victory.



Interlude.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.


Ezekiel 36:25-27




Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Who are you?

Who?

As a Christian, what would you label yourself,
a ‘Martha’ or a ‘Mary?’

Martha meant well, she tried hard, she worked hard, and she was a real go-getter. I'm not being critical of her, but I want you to consider Mary.
Mary….. well Mary was not as interested in getting things done, but she was more in touch with her feelings, and she was the type of person to stop & smell the flowers.

I want you to get in touch with your ‘inner Mary’ for a few moments.

Why?

Why are you here? Why did you stop & read this? Could it be you just happened to come across this & the title caught your eye? Maybe you know me & wondered what on Earth could I be rambling on about again. Or maybe you just didn’t have anything better to do. I don’t know, who am I to say?

What?

You ever think about your feet.
Look closely at them. Think about where they have been and what they have done throughout your life.
Mine have stepped across parts of China, 17 different states, Las Vegas, Yellowstone Park, and countless other places. They’ve pedaled different bicycles GOD gave me over a multitude of mountains across the southeast. And I know like your feet, mine have stood for hours, they’ve ran as fast and as long as my legs could take them. They’ve jumped for joy and they’ve treaded with trepidation. And yes they’ve stumbled. But no matter the different things our feet have done, the one thing they all have in common is they have brought each of us to this blog, right here, right now at this moment. That…my friend…. is no accident. No coincidence. It’s GOD’s divine will…. purpose… sovereignty…. whatever you want to call it. He has brought us together. Maybe we are separated by time & space, but never the less we are joined by a shared experience.


John 6:44a (New International Version)

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws Him,


Any of you remember that Cheap Trick song ‘I Want You to Want Me’? Think of part of that song’s chorus from GOD’s point of view.

“I want you to want Me! I’d love you to love Me!”

I bet the Rick Nielsen never dreamed his song would be used like that. I try not to put GOD in a box. If we look closely enough, we will see that He can use anything to remind us of His sovereignty. Just reminds me that ‘all things work together for the glory of GOD’. But the fact that I’m trying to convey is this:

He wants us.

He really wants us!

Not our lip service, not our sacrifices, not even our works. The only time any of that stuff matters is when we put Him first. Commune with our Holy Father.


Where?

A lot of us are at the stage of life where we are questioning everything. We’re kind of like children that ask “Why?” or “How come?” Only our questions are not from innocence. They are laced with frustration and jadedness.

Who am I?
Why am I here?
Is this all there is?
What do You want me to do?
Why am I so confused?
Why do I feel this way? This bad?

So many questions....sometimes they can be overwhelming.

How can we become the man or woman GOD wants us to be if we don’t truly understand our identity in Christ.

He is in us and we are in Him.

Sometimes we fail to understand that before we accepted Christ as our Savior we were like unsweetened tea. But at the moment of Salvation, we became sweetened tea. You can make unsweetened tea into sweet tea by added the sugar. But you can’t make sweet tea into unsweetened tea. The sugar’s been added and it isn’t coming out. It can’t be separated. It can’t be done. They’re inexorably linked. It is a new creation. And so it with us & Christ.


I saw a video a while back about our identity in Christ. I’ve pasted the transcript here and I’ve taken the liberty of adding a few lines toward the end that seemed appropriate. As you read the words I want you to think, really think about the them & personalize them. Make them yours. They are facts from scripture.


Who are you?
What is your identity?
What voices are you listening to?
Let me explain.
Do you find yourself saying:
“AAAAhhhhggg! You’re such a loser!”
“You’re a fraud!”
“You don’t have what it takes!”
“You’re just too stupid!”
Or you might look in the mirror and say,
“Wow, I am such an ugly person!”
Let me ask you,
Do you think that’s the voice of the Almighty GOD that you’re hearing?
Or is it someone else?
Now I want you to listen closely to what the Word of GOD says about the core of who you are.
You’re identity.
Now the Bible says you belong to The King.
You are a child of The King.
You are a disciple of The King.
It says you may approach The King with freedom and confidence.
You have direct access to the The Throne of The King.
In fact, it says you are seated with Him in the heavenly realms.
You are made righteous by The King.
That you are loved by The King.
Do you understand that?
The sovereign King accepts you.
He has befriended you.
He has chosen you.
He has completed you.
Nothing you can think of can define His love for you.
You were adopted as His child.
It says that you are united with Him.
That you will spend eternity in His presence.
Do you realize the fullness of what that means?
You have been given everything you need for life and for godliness.
You are a citizen of His kingdom.
You are healed by Him.
You are hidden in Him.
You are defended by Him.
You are guided by Him.
You are one with His spirit.
And listen to this:
You haven’t been given the spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
Do you understand that?
Nothing can separate you from Him!
Nothing!
That’s not all!
O’, it goes on and on and on and on!

You are established!
You are anointed!
You are His workmanship!
You are sealed through Him!
You are saved by Him!
You are sanctified!
You are justified!
You have been redeemed by The King!
He has cleansed you!
He has bought you!
You can’t be forgiven of sin without Him!
You can’t be freed from condemnation outside of Him!
You are buried and baptized into His death!
You were raised with Him into new life!
His death is your death!
His life is your life!
You are made alive by The King!

He is patient with you!
He is happy for you!
He enjoys His time with you!
He laughs with you!
He cries for you!
He cries with you!
He adores you!
He rejoices in you!
He believes in you!
He bled for you!
He left the glory of heaven for you!
He conquered death for you!
He is glorified in you!
He is the beauty within you!
He is with you! Right here! Right now!

Listen:
Don’t cheat the rest of us of your contribution by living a life based on an unhealthy perspective.
You have the Spirit of GOD living inside of the one and only you!
There has never been anyone like you!
He can work in and through you in a beautiful and unique way!
Give us what He has given you!
Give it the way that only you can!
Give us what you got!
Give us the new creation that you are!
Give Him who you are!
You are a new creation in Christ!
A new creation!

How?

Now…. for a little bit of Martha. I want you to take those facts apply them to where you are, to who you are in context of personality, gifts, talents, traits, etc.
What kind of person are you?

Outgoing or Introverted?

What do you like to do?

Do like doing things or pondering on things?
Do you like to serve others?
Do you like to give?
Do you like to speak?
Do you like to comfort others?
Encourage others?
Or something else?
Or some combination of those & more?

What about your dreams?

That’s a big one.

What happened to your dreams?

Are they alive or dead?

Or are they merely sleeping?

Collecting dust in the deep recesses of your mind and heart?

Whatever your answers may be, you are that & can be so much more. Just acknowledge & pursue Him.

The Bible says

Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

You might say “It’s too late!” His answer:

Joel 2:25a (King James Version)

And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten,


Mathew 6:33 (Amplified Bible)

But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.


Phillipians 4:13 (New King James Version)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me


I pray that each one of you will take these questions, and like another Mary we know, ponder them in your heart. Try to answer them soon. We only pass through this way once. It’s a one-way trip. Don’t put this off. ‘Now’ will never come again! Take a risk! As time passes don’t come back to these questions you’ve been wrestling with for months or even years and find them unanswered or colored with regret. Maybe you don’t know what to ask or how to say it. Don’t worry; we have hope:

Romans 8:26-27

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

Pursue the journey of becoming the man or woman that GOD wants you to be.

Do it now!