Wanderer

My stomach churns. I cry out. I lament. I have wandered far from you (again) & you are silent, yet I wonder "Why?". I'm such a fool.

Another chisel dulled trying to carve an idol out of stone. I guess I should say an 'idol of flesh & spirit' but it doesn't go w/the song ringing in recesses of my mind.

Rejected once again. I'm so tired of this. So alone.

Do You want me to be alone? Why teach me the things You have taught me? Why show me what my eyes have seen if it weren't for some purpose? You know I'm no good alone. I wander so much further downward when I'm alone.

But how can I not be alone & still keep You 'front & center' in my heart, soul & in my very life? I'm not getting any younger! I have wasted so much of my life! Can You really return the years the locusts have eaten? I once believed so. Now, I find myself doubting. You were probably just speaking to the Isrealites anyway.

Where is my faith? I know You are faithful, but my heart is weary & my soul thirsts for what I know is You, yet my neck is stiff & my head is hard. Have mercy on me O' Most Soverign Lord.

"Faithful To Me" Jennifer Knapp
All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone

that have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand,
just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.


All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly,
for a faith to be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial,
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
You're the only one who's faithful to me.