One year ago I was in China, it was the first time out of the country for me. It was quite a departure from my personality & history. Everyone who knew me at that time couldn't believe that I went. Most didn't say so, but I saw it in their eyes. It was such a departure of the person they thought they knew. Couldn't blame them, I couldn't believe it myself. I guess that is what happens when you start dying to oneself.To truly pursue Christ....everything starts to turn upside down.
You start to care more about people.
Material things start to fall away.
You yearn more & more for Him....to know Him
And it happens in such a way that you can't describe it adequately.
Looking back, I see how far He has brought me...and it is such a blessing to know, really know that He can use me...Me! ...to be an instrument in His plan. Can't get my head around that....especially knowing how far I need/want to grow in Him. And I can't take any credit.... I can only praise GOD for the privilege to be a tiny part in His plan.
....A tiny minuscule part.
But so many times I fall away so far away from Him & His will for my life.
So far....
....So desperately far.
I understand how His strength is made apparent in our weakness.
I want to do what is right,
I want to glorify Him,
but I stumble,
I fall,
I bring shame on Him by my sinfulness.
Only a truly loving sovereign GOD could take notice of an insignificant worm of a man such as I.
But not only see me,
but die for every one of my sins.
And not only that,
but He continues to draw me back to Him to use me again for His purpose.
....I can''t my head around that either....
...but I'm glad I can't.
That fact is too wonderful for me to understand. Again like salvation,
He makes it simple, He says:
"Trust me".... ......pick back up your cross & "follow Me".
What can you say to a love like that?
"Thank you O' Most High Sovereign GOD,
My Savior,
My Loving Father,
My Rock,
My Redeemer...."
Words can't do justice to even our small understanding of who He truly is, much less to the magnificent Wholeness of Him.
Praise Jesus!
"Hold Me Now" words by Jennifer Knapp
From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul.
O foot of Christ would You wait if her harlotries known?
Falls a tear to darken the dirt.
Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt.
She is strong enough to stand in Your love.
I can hear her say...
I am weak.
I am poor,
I'm broken Lord
Oh, but I'm Yours.
Hold me Now,
hold me Now.
Let he without sin cast the first stone if he will.
To say that My bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled.
Point your fingers and laugh if you choose
to say My beloved is borrowed and used
She is strong enough to stand in My love.
I can hear her say...
I am weak.
I am poor,
I'm broken Lord
but I'm Yours.
Hold me Now,
hold me Now.
"Refine Me" words by Kim Bontrager
I come into this place
burning to receive your peace.
I come with my own chains
from wars I've fought for my own selfish gain.
You're my God and my Father,
I've accepted your Son.
But my soul feels so empty now.
What have I become?
Lord,
come with your fire,
Burn my desires;
refine me .
Lord,
my will has deceived me,
please come and free me;
refine me.
My heart can't see
when I only look at me.
My soul can't hear
when I only think of my own fears.
They are gone in a moment,
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You,
how can I speak Your name?
Lord,
come with Your fire,
burn my desires;
refine me.
Lord,
my will has deceived me,
please come and free me,
come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You.
It's all I can do;
to give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord,
come with Your fire,
burn my desires;
refine me
Lord,
my will has deceived me
please come and free me,
come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me
1 John 1:8-9 (NIV)
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Psalm 65:3-4
3 Though we are overwhelmed by our sins,
you forgive them all.
4 What joy for those you choose to bring near,
those who live in your holy courts.
What festivities await us
inside your holy Temple.
John 17:17
17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
....A tiny minuscule part.
But so many times I fall away so far away from Him & His will for my life.
So far....
....So desperately far.
I understand how His strength is made apparent in our weakness.
I want to do what is right,
I want to glorify Him,
but I stumble,
I fall,
I bring shame on Him by my sinfulness.
Only a truly loving sovereign GOD could take notice of an insignificant worm of a man such as I.
But not only see me,
but die for every one of my sins.
And not only that,
but He continues to draw me back to Him to use me again for His purpose.
....I can''t my head around that either....
...but I'm glad I can't.
That fact is too wonderful for me to understand. Again like salvation,
He makes it simple, He says:
"Trust me".... ......pick back up your cross & "follow Me".
What can you say to a love like that?
"Thank you O' Most High Sovereign GOD,
My Savior,
My Loving Father,
My Rock,
My Redeemer...."
Words can't do justice to even our small understanding of who He truly is, much less to the magnificent Wholeness of Him.
Praise Jesus!
"Hold Me Now" words by Jennifer Knapp
From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul.
O foot of Christ would You wait if her harlotries known?
Falls a tear to darken the dirt.
Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt.
She is strong enough to stand in Your love.
I can hear her say...
I am weak.
I am poor,
I'm broken Lord
Oh, but I'm Yours.
Hold me Now,
hold me Now.
Let he without sin cast the first stone if he will.
To say that My bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled.
Point your fingers and laugh if you choose
to say My beloved is borrowed and used
She is strong enough to stand in My love.
I can hear her say...
I am weak.
I am poor,
I'm broken Lord
but I'm Yours.
Hold me Now,
hold me Now.
"Refine Me" words by Kim Bontrager
I come into this place
burning to receive your peace.
I come with my own chains
from wars I've fought for my own selfish gain.
You're my God and my Father,
I've accepted your Son.
But my soul feels so empty now.
What have I become?
Lord,
come with your fire,
Burn my desires;
refine me .
Lord,
my will has deceived me,
please come and free me;
refine me.
My heart can't see
when I only look at me.
My soul can't hear
when I only think of my own fears.
They are gone in a moment,
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You,
how can I speak Your name?
Lord,
come with Your fire,
burn my desires;
refine me.
Lord,
my will has deceived me,
please come and free me,
come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You.
It's all I can do;
to give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord,
come with Your fire,
burn my desires;
refine me
Lord,
my will has deceived me
please come and free me,
come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me
1 John 1:8-9 (NIV)
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Psalm 65:3-4
3 Though we are overwhelmed by our sins,
you forgive them all.
4 What joy for those you choose to bring near,
those who live in your holy courts.
What festivities await us
inside your holy Temple.
John 17:17
17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
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